To My Knowledge

 I have a monster in my closet. It's been there all my life. It seems like the bigger I get, the bigger my monster gets too. My monster likes to be taken care of. It likes it when I feed it. If I don't feed it, it goes away for a while. Then one day, it comes back hungrier than before. I wonder where my monster goes. Does it go to another closet? Perhaps under a bed? I can't be sure. All I know is that it's gone, and I can't help but smile.  When my monster leaves, I feel calm. There's nothing for me to worry about. No creaking floorboards in the night. No low growls to find me in the morning. Just me. I get to run and do whatever I want. For once, I get to eat the food I so generously lay out for my monster. I get it all to myself. For once, I peek into my closet and see the barren corners. The truth reveals itself, "My monster is far away from me", and at night I sleep like a child again. I walk on thin ice until my monster returns. I pace in the nig...

 What do you do after you got everything you've ever wanted from life? What does life look like after the happily ever after? This is a question I've been thinking about recently, and I think I've just about got the answer. The answer for me, at least. Let me explain my thought process. Like always, I first started with a list. I asked myself, What are the things I most want in my life to achieve peak happiness? For me, these were things like a God-Fearing family, a husband and kids, a fulfilling career, and peace and contentment with my life. Now, I may be getting ahead of myself but I feel like I can achieve this in 20 years or so. So the question returns, what after that? I think its safe to say that all of these questions lead to an even bigger and more important question that I believe everyone should ask themselves at some point. What are you living for? Once you answer this question, it's pretty easy to find the answer to all the other ones. What you live for des...

  This blog will be a little different than the rest. In my English class, we were assigned to write an essay about a time when we were judged. This story is extremely universal and very cliche, so I can only assume it will be relatable to it's reader.  In Junior High, all I wanted to do was to be cool. Like many others, I wasn’t used to all the new faces and found myself in the guttural realization that it was not okay to be the same little kid I was in elementary school. The people before me were mature, beautiful, and most importantly, somehow known by everyone. They were everything I knew I wasn’t and to achieve the new standards I set for myself in my head, I began to self-criticize my every move. My goal: total improvement. Naturally, I started my journey by secretly downloading TikTok and searching every inch of the app to “find myself”. I began to join new circles and try to figure out who I was through my friends, trying to figure out how they were able to be so eff...

 What is a soul? Does everyone and everything have one? Are some souls blessed while others are cursed? These are the questions you ask yourself in either an existential crisis, or if you're like me, come to you while daydreaming in Geometry. Essentially, a soul is a spirit. At least that is something we can all agree on. If everyone has one, or where they go after death is something up for debate.  No matter what your religion or personal opinion is, I propose one question for you. Can you change your soul? Yes, your personality will change as the years go on, so will your morals and beliefs. But does the essence of your very being age with you, or has it always been the same? I don't think so. To My Knowledge, having a soul insinuates a sense of eternity. Something ancient and forever. I don't think forever can change. As a Christian, my soul is bound to something unchangeable. I am forever changing here on Earth, but when my soul leaves to go to heaven it will remain jus...

 I have discovered the secret to a lifetime supply of happiness. No, really I have. Free dopamine 24/7. Comfort, freedom, and constant ecstasy. M, What could possibly be the answer, you may ask? Friendships. Not just any friendships though. Female friendships. I'm sure that all of us have been through ups and downs with friends, it'd be only human of us to share that experience. But the kind of friendships I'm talking about come from a place of not necessarily permanency, but pure love and companionship. Yes, they may not last forever. I have seen it time and time again. However, there's the thrill of the Now that binds girlfriends together.  If you're a boy reading this, you're probably envisioning girls going shopping, Starbucks, and gossiping, but there's so much more. It's that feeling of hours of work on your hair getting ruined by an all-windows-down-radio-full-volume interstate trip. It's the feeling of sleeping in your best friend's over ...

A name is defined by "a word or a set of words by which a person, animal, place, or thing is known, addressed, or referred to." In short, a name is who we are as people, and what everything else is around us. It is a universal labeling to distinguish things from one another. But what happens if you don't have one? Well everything has a name, so it is impossible to go without one for long. However, rarely there comes a time when something has so many names that you can't decide which one to give it. Like that awkward moment when you meet with an old acquaintance at so-and-so's Halloween party of 2021 and you can't seem to find their name. A million names race through your head to label them, meanwhile they seem to know your name first try. I still wonder how that is even possible.  To quote the obvious literary reference here, in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet...